It’s Ok To Say NO

It's Ok To Say No

How many times have you dreaded going to an event way before it should even be on your agenda? Getting yourself flustered because deep down you don’t want to go. Maybe you’ll have to face people you don’t like, you know you need to watch your spending habits and you’d rather just simply stay indoors-  But wait, you can’t let your “bestie” down right? and Aunt Sarah would be devastated if you didn’t show up, so its probably best to “show your face” even if it’s just for an hour. But WHY?

What about YOUyour emotional wellbeing, your needs, your priorities and your life. We need to realise that we have limits to our time, interests and energy –  therefore IT’S OK TO SAY NO! One thing i’ve learnt during my self development journey is that sometimes we need to be selfish in order to do what’s right for us.

Now, I don’t want you to start shutting yourself away from the world by saying no to everything because that’s not what I’m getting at here. But if you genuinely know something is not right for you, then hunny it’s time to say no.

WHY IT’S OK TO SAY NO

1.

You know yourself better than anyone else

When it comes down to it, the only person to be affected by your choices is you. If you say yes to that party on Sunday night, your going to have to face the music on Monday morning and if you agree to a commitment your not really happy about, then your the one who has to deal with a lifetime of suffering. It’s that simple.

You know the repercussions to your actions and therefore its YOUR choice whether you want to go ahead with something or not. Be stern, stand your ground and give yourself some respect. Why put yourself through unpleasant situations when you can just say no?

2.

You don’t owe anything & you can’t control everyone’s opinions on you

You really don’t owe anything to anyone, yes your Mum and Dad raised and supported you, but that doesn’t mean you have to live your life obliged to their beliefs, same goes for anyone else in your life.

If we acted as if we owed something to everyone we would become sucked dry spiritually, mentally and physically.

It’s just not possible to please everyone!

Also, if you’re afraid to say no because you’re worried about how people will act, please don’t. How they react is a reflection of themselves and you hold no responsibility in that, you can’t control their opinions and you’re doing what’s best for you at the end of the day. In these cases its probably best to walk away from the negative relationships anyway.

3.

You need to start putting yourself first

The main reason why we are afraid to say no is because we can’t bear the thought of letting other’s down. We tent to put everyone else’s needs before our own and sometimes that can be at the risk of our own health.

As an Empath I am highly sensitive to energy, therefore if I am surrounded by a big group of people or a negative presence for too long I start to feel drained and low which can have an impact on my mental wellbeing. Because of this, I do avoid certain events and scenarios, but that is my choice and I make the decision for myself.

Setting myself boundaries is essential and it should be for you too.

HOW CAN I SAY NO?

While I’m aware saying no isn’t easy, sometimes I find myself repeating “no no no” in my head and then STILL saying “Yes”. Having a certain way of saying it can be helpful so here are a few ways of saying “No”:

  • “Thank you for asking but unfortunately its not a good time”
  • “Apologies but I can’t make it / Can’t commit to that right now”
  • “I’m honoured that you’ve asked me but I don’t want to”
  • “I can’t give you an answer right now, I will get back to you when I can”
  • “It sounds great, but I’m not comfortable with going / doing that”

Do you find it hard to say no? Have you ever said yes to something when you really wanted to say no? How do you deal with these situations? leave your comments below! 

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20 Comments

  1. I couldn’t agree more. This is refreshing to read — a good reminder. My g/fs and I have this convo all the time. I will be sharing with them as well.

    1. Love that your friendship group talks about this! Its healthy to be able to say no when needed 🙂 Thank you for your comment Tonya!

    1. Thank you :), It’s funny how things become much easier to do as we get to a certain age, Im glad you know the importance of setting limits and thank you soo much for your comment!

  2. It’s definitely important to find a balance between socializing and setting boundaries, particularly around the holiday season when things can get so busy and stressful.

  3. This is so true! I have had to learn this lesson the hard way. I used to say yes to everything, but I would flake at the last minute because I just didn’t want to do it. I learned that I would rather say no at first then be known as a flake, and once I did I realized that people really do understand. Now I have a lot more balance and when I do commit to something, it’s because I really want to do it!

    1. Hey Meaghan, I was exactly like you!! It is soo much better to just be honest with yourself and to the people around you, well done for changing things around!

  4. This is something I wish I learned much sooner in life! Though now that I have learned it, I know my anxiousness went down a lot! Definitely having good boundaries helps!

    1. Hi Jessica making a start is the most important thing and it will get easier with time! Thank you for your comment and I wish you all the best in the new year!

  5. This is so true! I find with having kids we get asked to do and participate in so much more. Saying No is important for all of our sanity!

  6. Saying no is so vital to our sanity, I think. And all of your suggestions for how to say no are fabulous. Thanks for writing about this topic – I think it’s so important!

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